Doulaing during COVID: Part 2
I met Angelina and Skyler for an interview in January and midway through our conversation I found myself thinking“ I could talk to these two all night. It feels like we’ve known each forever.” I was thrilled when they hired me. Our first prenatal visit was scheduled for the middle of March, and when things started shutting down we decided to reschedule for April, and when it became clear that we would not be meeting in-person we rescheduled for Zoom. They would be my first clients delivering during Corona Virus (as we called it then) and we were trying to navigate the waters together. Quickly we decided that we would add more virtual prenatal visits; we started affectionately calling them “Daddy Doula Tainings”. Skyler, Angelina’s husband, was reading Penny Smikins The Birth Partner and would ask me an array of questions at each meeting. I essentially tried to download all my doula wisdoms into him; he took notes and highlighted passages from his birthing books. Angelina and Skyler were two of the most educated and prepared couples I have ever worked with. We talked weekly, we texted, and we continued to hope that I would be able to support Angelina in person. As the days, the weeks, and then the months past we stopped hoping for that possibility and began to prepare for the reality of me not being there.
At 7:16am in the morning on May 16 I logged into Zoom. Angelina’s water had broke, I had supported them over the phone and now they were in the hospital. Through the computer screen I watched Angelina settle into her labor using all the coping techniques we had discussed. I watched her connect deeply with her strength and bravely meet each surge as it came. I offered suggestions and guidance. “She’s trembling” Skyler whispered into the IPAD with a look of concern in his eye. “ She’s going through transition” I calmly told him. “Stay close. Say little. Offer water.” It was such a strange feeling to be there and not there at the same time. It was such a strange feeling to know what was needed throughout the course of labor, and to be able to guide her husband on how to support her, but to not be able to do a double hip squeeze or whisper quietly “Your already doing it. You’re doing the most important work of your life.” I ached to be there.
During our Zoom postpartum visit we all cried. It was May and whole world felt like a boat on rocky waters; we had been each others support throughout Lockdown. Our weekly meetings brought cohesiveness and joy to my chaotic weeks with my toddlers. It wasn’t till the end of our last postpartum visit that I realized we only met in-person that once for the interview; I felt so deeply connected to their family, it felt even more like I had known them forever.
